Counseling is something which every single human needs, and the reason is because none of us are born, or for that matter raised, with sufficient tools to handle living in (and contributing to) a broken world. Insofar as each one of us is mired in sin, we hurt ourselves and others with little to no true understanding of what we have done, nor how to fix it. This is what biblical counseling is designed to address.
Just as it is true that every single human needs counseling, it is also true that every human seeks and obtains it; the only question is of the quality of the counseling they receive. Many settle for more informal counseling, whether from culture, friends, social media, platitudes, or misguided self-help; this is decidedly a low quality counseling experience. We ought to seek a better caliber of counseling experience, and the good news is that qualified and professional Christian counselors are more available today than ever before. I and my family have benefitted greatly from counseling at various times and for diverse reasons. However, I have also been aided with fresh insights and understanding simply from engaging with the available qualified counseling literature.
Not all counseling literature is created equal, and so I have put together a short list of texts below that I have personally read and have found to be illuminating, rooted in evidence, and generally biblical. If you are already familiar with counseling, or counseling literature, I invite you not only to consider how counseling has been used to help you, or can be used by you to help others. Instead, a path which few of us take is to consider not how you or others have been hurt, but to move beyond into consideration of how you yourself have hurt others, and how good counseling principles would lead you to act in light of that. There is a fairly wide group of counseling subjects here, so my hope is that whatever your need is at present this list would at least give you tools and a starting point toward understanding yourself and your relation to those around you, as well as the solutions available.
Allender, Dan B. The Healing Path: How the Hurts in Your Past Can Lead You to a More Abundant Life. 1st ed. Colorado Springs, Colo: WaterBrook Press, 1999.
This book was really helpful in learning how to deal with extremely difficult counseling situations. It shows how engaging pain is actually the best way to heal. If you are faced with an incredibly difficult relational issue, whether you're ministering to others or not, this book is a great start to get your mind oriented correctly to address these issues.
Benner, David G. Strategic Pastoral Counseling: A Short-Term Structured Model. Grand Rapids, Mich: Baker Academic, 2003.
Don't let the name fool you, this method isn't just for pastors but can be adapted for service in normal relationships. Benner outlines the counseling method popularly employed at Covenant Seminary for example, in a really concise and accessible way. It is great for short term pastoral counseling, but you’d need to alter a bit for more long term counseling, or if you discern that the issues you're dealing with are a bit deeper than average. As a fast read, it is a great way to become familiar with a method quickly in order to help others.
Carder, David. Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, & Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them. Chicago, Illinois: Moody Publishers, 2017.
This one is a great pastoral counseling book for ministering to those who have had an affair or even as required reading for premarital counseling. However, many lay people will benefit greatly from this little book in that they may come to an understanding that no one is immune from temptation to an affair, and how developing a consciousness early can aid you in the long run. These are not issues with which people are familiar naturally, and a competence here can save partners immeasurable pains, especially insofar as it is used before issues of an affair arise. The frank conversation required in this book for a couple to wade through is even a great way to model what respectful, intimate conversation should look like between spouses.
Friedman, Edwin H., Gary Emanuel, and Mickie Crimone. Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue. 1 edition. New York: The Guilford Press, 2011.
This text is excellent for anyone who would like to explore the impact of familial relationships, whether their own relationships or in the context of ministering to others. This book is especially useful in concert with a genogram project, and can even be a useful tool as you seek to help others understand their own past and lineage. You’ll be able to uncover an incredible wealth of issues simply by being equipped to help people understand their familial past, the ways it influences them, and to know how to address it.
Siegel, Daniel J., and Mary Hartzell. Parenting From the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive. New York: J.P. Tarcher/Putnam, 2003.
Here is a great resource that allows you to think deeply about what it means to shepherd a child. This would be great for parents who are feeling stuck with their kids, or who are interested in reevaluating their approach. This one is written by experts in brain development, and consequently explores more than simply international aspects of guiding children, but also the biological realities of developing brains, which should inform your parenting strategy.
Thompson, Curt D., The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves Hardcover – 16 Oct. 2015, IVP Books.
This is a personal favorite of mine. Dr. Thompson is adept in weaving together insights from psychiatry, the latest research in neuroscience, and a biblical understanding of human flourishing. By describing "shame storms," or the patterns of internal subconscious self-shaming, he proposes practical and biblical methods for addressing some of our most destructive neurological tendencies. Though I haven't yet read his additional volume Anatomy of the Soul, I would wager that it similarly grants Thompson's unique blend of understanding and practical solutions.
Winter, Richard. When Life Goes Dark: Finding Hope in the Midst of Depression. Downers Grove, Illinois: IVP Books, 2012.
As the subtitle implies, this one takes you through understanding depression and supplies helpful statistics which explain why medication is not always the answer for someone in trouble. It helps you toward better ways to understand depression and to address it. Good for pastoral counseling and even helping young counselors learn more.